


What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting to Be Expecting

by wonderclam



Series: Sore Loser [2]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-03-03 01:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderclam/pseuds/wonderclam
Summary: Jongin is inexplicably ill for weeks, and Sehun is worried he isn't going to make it. Neither of them are prepared for the news a trip to the hospital brings.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is an alternate story following chapter two of sore loser. you don't have to read that one if you really don't want to, but it would help a lot with understanding their characterization.

“What is your obsession with sour shit lately?” Sehun asked, grimacing as Jongin popped another lemon section into his mouth.  The lip-puckering fruit had become a staple in his diet over the course of the last few weeks, along with any kind of sour candy he could get his hands on.  Kissing him was like a game of Russian roulette anymore, and Sehun was ready for it to end any time now.

“I don’t know, it’s good?” Jongin replied without looking up, seemingly unbothered by Sehun’s apparent disgust.

Sehun watched as Jongin chewed a few more pieces of fruit before he realized he was staring.  He shook his head, trying to refocus, and turned his attention to the book he was supposed to be writing a paper about.  “So, have you read this book yet?” he asked Jongin, flipping randomly through the pages without really looking at any of them.

“Uh, yeah, actually,” Jongin said, finally looking up to see what Sehun was talking about.  “I was in bed most of the day yesterday, so I figured I’d do something productive.” 

“Seriously?  You stayed home sick yesterday… and did homework?”

Jongin gave him an impressively unimpressed look and said, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but the reason you’ve made it this far in school is because I actually pay attention to shit and make sure you know enough of it to get by.”  He tossed the last piece of lemon into his mouth and chomped on it a little more aggressively than strictly necessary.

“Ok, ok, fair enough,” Sehun said, raising his hands in surrender, feeling it best to stop an argument before it started.  Jongin was easy to annoy lately, and Sehun wasn’t looking for another blowout like the one from the week before when he commented on the unusually messy state of Jongin’s bedroom.  “So what is this book- you know, you were probably sick yesterday because of that,” Sehun pointed out, changing course mid-sentence when he saw Jongin pull a bag of sour skittles out of his backpack.

Jongin froze, skittles package barely open, and glared at Sehun.  He dropped the candy back into his bag, picked it up as he stood, and walked toward the cafeteria exit.

Ok, that was a bit more of an overreaction than Sehun had expected.

“Wait, what about-“

“Read it yourself!” Jongin yelled back over his shoulder and continued out the door.

“What did you do to piss him off this time?” Kyungsoo, one of their regular-lunch-table-mates-but-not-super-close-friends who had been witness to their recent spats, asked as he sat down next to Sehun at the table.  Sehun shrugged his shoulders, staring at the door Jongin had disappeared through in confusion.

\---

From Jongin 10:14 pm  
hey

To Jongin 10:15 pm  
yo

From Jongin 10:17 pm  
so. sorry i was kind of a dick earlier. i don’t know what that was about. i can come over and tell you about the book.

To Jongin 10:17 pm  
yeah sure you can come ;) ;)

From Jongin 10:18 pm  
…and talk about the book

To Sehun 10:18 pm  
right ;)

From Jongin 10:18 pm  
stop with the winky faces you pervert!

From Jongin 10:18 pm  
i’ll be there in ten minutes ;)

\---

“You look like shit,” Sehun commented when he met up with Jongin the next morning outside the front doors of the school.  He instantly regretted it when he recalled the way Jongin had reacted to his mild criticism the day before, but Jongin didn’t seem to care this time.

“Well that works out just great because that’s exactly how I feel.”  Jongin crossed his arms over his stomach as he followed Sehun through the door into the building.  Just after he crossed the threshold he stopped abruptly, almost falling backwards, when Sehun’s hand flew up in front of his face and connected with his forehead.  “Dude, what the fuck?”  He reared back, reaching up and swatting Sehun’s hand away.

“Chill out, I’m just seeing if you have a fever,” Sehun said, securing Jongin's swinging hands in one of his own and putting the other back on his forehead.  “You don’t feel hot.”

“Yeah, I know, that’s why my mom wouldn’t let me stay home again.  She thinks I’m trying to get out of a test or something.”

“I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time.  If I were her I’d be suspicious, too.”  Sehun dodged the punch Jongin threw at him as they started walking again.  “Maybe you have an ulcer,” he suggested.

“I don’t have an ulcer.”

“I told you all that sour shit was bad for you.  It burned a hole in your stomach.”

“That’s not how you get ulcers, dumbass.”

“Ok, well, maybe you have the flu.”  As soon as the words left Sehun’s mouth, an ugly realization dawned on him, his face contorting in dismay.  “Oh, no.  If you have the flu that means _I’m_ gonna get it.  We swapped so many bodily fluids last ni-“

“Oh my _god_ , would you close your mouth!”  Jongin stage whispered, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to them.  Luckily they were in a nearly deserted hallway.  Literally not a single person needed to hear about what the two of them got up to on their own time.  “If I had the flu I would have a fever.”   He pushed Sehun’s shoulder violently, sending him stumbling to the side. 

“Hey, watch it!”  Sehun righted himself and fell into step with Jongin again like nothing had happened.  “So, I was going to invite you over for the weekend since my parents are going to visit some of their friends in Vegas or something.”  He gave Jongin a lascivious look, which Jongin just rolled his eyes at. 

“And they’re trusting you to stay home alone again?”  Sehun’s punishment from the last time he had been left alone had just ended recently.  Was he really willing to go through it again so soon?

“I can’t fail an entire class in two days, so I think I’m good.”

“Sure, if you say so.  I guess I can come over if I’m not feeling like death by then.”

“Sweet,” Sehun said, sneaking a quick, discreet grope of Jongin's backside just before they entered their first class of the day.  Jongin jolted in surprise and pinched Sehun’s side in retaliation as he followed him to the back of the room to take their seats.

Halfway through the 90-minute lesson, Sehun noticed that Jongin was looking increasingly ill.  In a matter of minutes he went from looking slightly uncomfortable to pale and shaking, perspiration gathering on his forehead as he breathed heavily.  Half a second before Sehun could open his mouth to ask if he was going to be ok, Jongin bolted from his seat and out the door, ignoring the teacher who tried to call him back.

“Where did he go?” the teacher asked Sehun when it was apparent Jongin wasn’t going to return.

Sehun shrugged as all eyes in the room turned to him, grateful for the impromptu break in the middle of class.  “He said he was sick, so probably to throw up somewhere.” 

The teacher sighed in defeat, used to random interruptions from either one of the two almost daily and knowing it was useless.  As he went back to his lecture, Sehun pulled his phone out of his pocket under his desk and texted Jongin to see what was going on with him.  A few minutes later he got a reply.

From Jongin 9:15 am  
did you know vomiting in the nurses office automatically gets you sent home?

To Jongin 9:15 am  
I didn’t, but that’s good to know

From Jongin 9:15 am  
will you drop my stuff off on your way home later?

Sehun looked at the bulging backpack sitting on the floor by the desk next to him.

To Jongin 9:16 am  
you really expect me to carry your shit around all day??

From Jongin 9:16 am  
please? i’ll let you do that thing you like while your parents are gone this weekend

To Jongin 9:17 am  
…fine. but you better not be lying about that

\---

“I knew you were faking,” Sehun said when Jongin answered the door.  It was Friday, and Jongin had once again been too sick to pull himself out of bed to go to school.  “I brought you your homework.”

Jongin let Sehun in, closing the door and taking the piece of notebook paper that had his assignments written on it from him.  “I wasn’t faking,” he said, looking over the list.

Sehun pointedly looked at all the junk food wrappers spread over the coffee table, a controller for the game paused on the TV barely visible amongst the mess.  “Really?”

Jongin followed his judgmental gaze and frowned.  “Yes, really.  I was ungodly nauseous this morning when I woke up.”

“So you decided the best remedy for an upset stomach was to eat Twinkies and Doritos all day?”

“No, moron,” Jongin said, glaring at him.  “After I finally threw up I felt perfectly fine, and then I was starving.”

“And you decided to remedy that by eating Twinkies and Doritos all day?” Sehun repeated.

“You know what, fuck you for judging everything I eat lately.  You aren’t any better,” Jongin snapped, fed up with Sehun’s attitude towards his diet when Sehun had been known to have days when he ate nothing but Starburst.  Jongin tossed his list of assignments on the table and flopped back down on the seat he had been occupying all day.  He grabbed his controller from under a chip bag and resumed his game.  Sehun wisely chose to not comment any further on the matter, instead finding the second controller and waiting for Jongin to let him join the game.

Sehun kept his mouth shut for the next hour, letting Jongin destroy him in every game they played in an attempt to neutralize the atmosphere again. 

\---

Jongin did go to Sehun’s Saturday night, but ended up leaving before Sehun got to claim his prize.  Sehun wasn’t entirely happy about it, but couldn’t hold it against him as he could hear the evidence of Jongin's queasiness when the older boy locked himself in the bathroom not long after he got there.

He managed to make it through classes on Monday, but just barely.

He didn’t show up Tuesday.

\---

When Jongin was absent again on Wednesday, Sehun actually started to worry.  As much as they goofed off in class together and occasionally skipped a day here and there, Jongin really did care about doing well in school and getting into a good college someday.  It wasn’t like him to miss so much school for no reason.

Sehun texted Jongin during one of his morning classes and found out that he was on his way to the hospital, which didn’t make him feel any less anxious.  Jongin promised to keep him updated throughout the day, but never texted him again after that.  At first Sehun assumed it was just taking some time for whatever tests they were doing, but the longer he went without hearing anything the worse scenarios his brain started supplying him with.

Like, what if Jongin had stomach cancer or something?  How likely was it even for a relatively healthy eighteen-year-old to _get_ stomach cancer?  Or maybe he had some disease that no one had ever even heard of, and there was no treatment they could give him.

By the time the final bell of the day rang, Sehun had worked himself into a near panic.  He had his bag packed and was rushing out the door before anyone else was even out of their seat.  He ignored any and all speed limits on his way to Jongin's house, barely slowing to what could _maybe_ have been considered a stop when required. 

He was already at the front door and ringing the bell when he realized that Jongin's mother’s car wasn’t in the driveway.  Maybe Jongin wasn’t even home yet?  Whatever.  Sehun knew where the spare key was hidden if he needed to get inside to wait for him.  He ended up not needing it, though, when he turned the doorknob and found it unlocked.  So Jongin was probably home.  But not answering the door?  Or any of his texts all afternoon?  That couldn’t be a good sign…

“Jongin!” Sehun called out once he was in the house.  He didn’t get a response, but he really hadn’t been expecting one.  He made a quick trip through the living room and kitchen, even stopping to peek into the empty bathroom, before finally making his way to Jongin's bedroom.  The door was ajar and he could just see a Jongin-sized lump lying under the blanket in the middle of the bed.

“Dude, what the hell is up?  You haven’t said anything to me all day.  You’re kind of freaking me out,” Sehun said as he pushed the door open.  Jongin was obviously awake, judging by the unevenness of his breathing, but didn’t answer him.  Actually, his breathing was really uneven.  And that was definitely a hiccup.  Was he… crying?

Fuck.  Jongin did not cry.  Not even when he fell out of a tree and broke his arm when he was eleven.  Whatever was going on was an actual Serious Thing.  Sehun crossed the room and tugged the blanket down, revealing Jongin's red, tear-stained face.

“Shit, Jongin, what’s wrong?” Sehun gently demanded, getting into the bed with him and pulling him into a hug.  Instead of answering, Jongin buried his face in Sehun’s chest and bawled. 

Sehun didn’t push him to talk, just held him and let him cry it out.  As worried as Sehun had been about hearing whatever news Jongin could have given him, it couldn’t possibly compare to what Jongin was going through if this was how he was reacting to it.  It was Sehun’s job as his best friend to be there for him and let him know things would be alright.  He would have to put his own emotions on the back burner for the time being.

By the time Jongin's sobs had diminished to the occasional sniffle, Sehun had drifted into a hazy, half asleep state.  Jongin mumbling something too quiet to hear clearly pulled him back to full consciousness.

“What was that?” Sehun murmured, brushing Jongin's hair out of his face so he could see his eyes.

Jongin refused to look up at him, instead focusing on a loose thread on his pillowcase.  It seemed to be taking an immense amount of effort for him to be able to repeat himself, so Sehun waited patiently, rubbing his shoulder and offering as much comfort as possible.  A few minutes later, Jongin finally took a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes started to water again, his voice coming out wobbly and barely audible.

“I said I’m pregnant.”


	2. Chapter 2

_“I said I’m pregnant.”_

 

“…Oh,” Sehun said intelligently, his brain freezing up when the words that Jongin had spoken registered.  That was probably the last thing he had expected to hear.  He had been preparing himself for the worst; cancer, a flesh eating disease that would kill him slowly and painfully, an alien implant that his body was rejecting in a violent way.  But this?  This was not a situation Sehun had even thought to consider.  And while it wasn’t necessarily a _bad_ thing, per se, it did come with its own set of difficulties.  “So you’re a…”  He trailed off, unable to bring himself to say the words.

Jongin let out a hollow laugh.  “Yeah, I’m a _carrier_.”

Even though Jongin being pregnant obviously meant he was a carrier, hearing him say it out loud was still a shock to Sehun, and he flinched before he could stop himself.  Carriers weren’t well-tolerated by the general public.  People considered them unnatural, and associating with a carrier, or anyone who openly supported them, earned you just as much ridicule as if you were one yourself.  Sehun and Jongin, being the young and generally stupid boys they were, had made some unsavory comments about them in the past themselves.  This was obviously karma coming back to bite them in a big way.

Jongin felt Sehun jerk minutely against him, and felt his eyes start to sting again.  If he was honest with himself, he hadn’t expected a positive reaction.  Had hoped, maybe, that Sehun would put aside past prejudices and support him.  But hadn’t expected it.  Not when Jongin was still working on letting go of those same prejudices himself.

But even though he hadn’t expected Sehun to take the news well (hell, he had accused the doctor of playing a sick joke on him when she first told him), the silence he was met with at his admission still made his chest tighten with anxiety.  Sehun was the one person, apart from his mother, that he needed to be there for him, to help him keep it together when he felt like his life was falling apart.  That there was a chance that Sehun might distance himself from him because of this…  Jongin couldn’t handle abandonment on top of everything else.

“Shit,” Sehun hissed, jerking further away from Jongin when his phone vibrated in his pocket.  He pulled it out and saw a text from his dad asking where he was, _didn’t he remember what today was?_   “Shit, shit _fuck_.  Today can’t _possibly_ get any worse,” he grumbled, missing the pained look on Jongin's face as he detangled himself entirely from him and crawled off the bed clumsily, typing a message to send back and let his dad know he was on his way and would be home soon. 

“What’s wrong?” Jongin asked softly, watching Sehun grab his things and ignoring the urge to beg him to stay.

“My dad is going to kill me.  I was supposed to be home an hour ago.  His boss is coming over for dinner and we’re supposed to be the perfect host family or some bullshit.  Fuck!” he exclaimed again, tripping as he put his shoes on.  “I’ll talk to you later.”  And then he disappeared out the door.

And Jongin was alone.

Jongin supposed he should get used to being alone since he was probably going to lose a lot of friends once people found out about his… condition.  It just sucked that the first one to go was the most important.

It was so unfair that people were going to judge him for this.  It’s not like he _asked_ to be born different.  No one _wanted_ to be told they were a freak of nature and that the world would be better off without them.  It was like saying people with curly hair were immoral and should be shunned, or people who were double-jointed were inherently liars and couldn’t be trusted.  Why should someone’s physical aspects be a reason to criticize them?

You would think that being different from most people would be something to celebrate.  Like, hey, you have this special thing that not many people do, you’re like a rare _Pokémon_ or something.  But no.  People were assholes and had to condemn anything they didn’t understand.

And the worst part of it all, the thing that made Jongin feel the absolute shittiest, was that it took him ‘becoming’ one of those different people to realize that he was one of the assholes before.  That it was stupid to judge people for things beyond their control. 

Jongin had always been pretty average.  He lived with his mom in a nice house, got decent grades, and grew up to be reasonably attractive.  He didn’t know what it was like to be bullied or made fun of because nothing about him made him stand out in a bad way.  But now…  It had only been a few hours since he found out what he was, and he had only had a small taste of what that kind of judgment felt like, but it was enough for him to know how horrible he had made people feel every time he made an offhand comment about someone being a freak. 

The doctor who had treated him in the hospital had been warm and welcoming when she introduced herself, promising to do everything she could to find out what was wrong with him and get him healthy again.  But when she came back later in the day with his test results it was like she was a different person.  Her smile was gone.  She wouldn’t look directly at him.  She was cold and detached as she shared his results with him, remaining professionally polite only because she had to.  After she gave him all the information she was required to (which was little more than a pamphlet with some phone numbers to contact some specialists), she sent him on his way without so much as a goodbye.

And that was…  Well, it still wasn’t really okay, but at least he didn’t have to see her again and deal with her being a judgmental asshole.  Sehun, on the other hand, had been a permanent figure in his life for as long as he could remember.  They grew up together, shared things with each other that no one else would ever know about them.  Sehun was the second most important person in his life, and now, because of this one thing, he might lose him. 

Jongin rolled over to face the wall, the most he had moved in hours, and clutched a pillow to his chest.  It was a poor substitute for the person he wished was there instead to comfort him when he was so overwhelmed that it didn’t feel like anything would ever be right in his life again.  Sehun’s rejection, no matter how subtle, hurt more than he thought it could.  As Jongin felt a fresh trail of tears start to fall, he buried his face in the pillow and let himself cry. 

\---

Sehun was on autopilot all through the evening.  He got home minutes before his dad’s boss was supposed to be there, not even bothering to argue back as he was yelled at for being irresponsible.  Instead he silently took the uncomfortable looking dress shirt and tie his mother shoved into his hands and went to put it on, finishing just as the doorbell rang.  He plastered what he hoped was a convincing enough smile on his face and went to greet their guests.

Dinner passed by mostly in a blur, Sehun constantly reminding himself to focus on what was going on around him instead of losing himself in his thoughts.  He spent most of the time rearranging the food on his plate to make it look like he was eating, only contributing to the conversation when spoken to.  But he remembered to be polite and not say anything to embarrass his father, and that seemed to be good enough to get him excused early to “do homework”.  Relieved, he said goodnight to everyone and escaped to the sanctuary of his bedroom.

Once inside he collapsed backwards onto his bed and just laid there, staring at the ceiling.  For the first time since he got the text from his father earlier he allowed himself to think about the bombshell Jongin had dropped on him.

Jongin was pregnant.  And, although he didn’t explicitly say it, Sehun was sure it was his.  So that meant Sehun was as good as pregnant as well.

Fuck.

What was he supposed to do?  He didn’t know anything about babies.  He could barely take care of himself.  Sure, he could make sure he didn’t die if his parents left him alone for a few days, but they always left him with a fully stocked kitchen and emergency money.  He didn’t have any food or money to give to anyone.  Shit, how much did it even cost to have a baby?  If he and Jongin both got jobs, would it be enough?  Would Jongin even be able to work?

Jongin could probably do it for a few months, but it would only be a matter of time before someone figured out that he was pregnant and invented a reason to fire him.  No one wanted to ruin the image of their business by having a pregnant guy working for them.  Not to mention, worrying about trying to keep a job while still going to school and keeping his grades up would be unnecessarily stressful, which wouldn’t be good for Jongin or the baby.  So no, Jongin probably wouldn’t be able to work, which meant that responsibility would fall to Sehun.

Sehun had never had a job.  How long would it take to find one?  He needed someone to hire him tomorrow, not two weeks from now.  He a limited amount of time to save as much as he could.  The longer it took to find a job, the less money he would have.  And the less money he had, the more Jongin would have to worry.  He didn’t want Jongin to have to worry about finances when his life was going to be hard enough as it was.

Groaning, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and googled jobs available in the area.  He scrolled through the results and lost more hope with every one he passed.  Most of them wouldn’t work with his school schedule, and the ones that would hardly seemed worth the effort of filling out the application.  Who wanted to work for a company that couldn’t even guarantee to schedule you to work more than one day a week?  Unfortunately most of the part time jobs available seemed to have that same problem.  Sighing in resignation, he was just about to click a link for one of the least offensive looking jobs when a memory flashed across his mind.

A few weeks ago at lunch, Kyungsoo had mentioned that he had been working at the coffee shop his uncle owned since the beginning of the summer, but didn’t think he would be able to do that and keep up with his AP homework anymore.  He had asked everyone sitting at their lunch table if they were interested in taking over his position, trying to entice them with above average pay and flexible hours.  At the time Sehun had told him he would rather staple his tongue to the locker room floor than give up a single hour of his free time.  Now, however, it sounded like the universe giving him the biggest break someone in his position could possibly hope for. 

Without waiting another second, Sehun closed the internet browser and pulled up Kyungsoo’s contact info and hit the call button.  Hopefully Kyungsoo hadn’t already found a replacement.

Just when Sehun thought he was going to be ignored, he heard an irritated groan followed by “Sehun, what the hell do you want?”  Kyungsoo’s voice was deep and gravelly, like he had just been asleep, and Sehun winced at the realization that he had probably woken him up.

“Hey, Kyungsoo.  Were you asleep?”

“Yeah, I was,” Kyungsoo answered, clearly annoyed.  “If that was all you wanted I’m gonna hang up and go back to sleep because I have to work in the morning.”

Well that answered that question.  Sehun fist pumped silently in celebration before hearing a rustling that was most likely Kyungsoo pulling the phone away from his ear to hang up.  “Wait!  Kyungsoo, wait.”

“…What?” came from far away.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about that job.  Are you still looking for someone to take your place?”

“…Yeah, why?”

Sehun sighed, choosing his words carefully so as not to expose Jongin's secret to anyone without talking to him about it first.  “I’ve recently been put in a position that requires me to have a reasonably steady income.”  Kyungsoo didn’t respond for a while, and Sehun wondered if the call had been dropped.  He didn’t think he had the courage to call him a second time.  A quick glance at his phone screen told him he was still connected, though.  “Hello?”

“Did you swallow a dictionary or something?” Kyungsoo asked, snorting as he made fun of Sehun’s unusual vocabulary.

“Fuck you, I know words,” Sehun retorted, only slightly annoyed at his teasing.

“Okay, that sounds more like you,” Kyungsoo said, still laughing.  “So, I’m really curious what made you suddenly need a job you thought you were too good for when I asked you about it before, but I also really want to go back to sleep, so you’re off the hook for now.  Come in at seven tomorrow and we can talk to my uncle.”

“Seven in the morning?” Sehun asked unhappily, glancing at the alarm clock on the table next to his bed that told him it was after midnight.

“Yes, seven in the morning.  That’s why I was sleeping when you called me, remember?” Kyungsoo huffed.

“Right, sorry about that.  I’ll see you tomorrow.  Thanks.”

“Yeah, sure.” 

Before Sehun could respond, the call ended.  He locked his phone and dropped it on the bed next to him.  Getting a job didn’t seem like much of an accomplishment when he considered what the next few months would have in store for him, but it made him feel like he was at least a little bit more in control of the situation.  Clinging to that feeling instead of letting the fear and worry from before come creeping back, Sehun closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.

 


	3. chapter 3

Sehun jolted awake the next morning feeling very confused.  _Where was he?  What was going on?  What day was it?_   He looked around his still-dark bedroom, trying to figure out what had woken him up, and jumped in panic again when he felt his left butt cheek vibrate.  Sighing in relief when he realized it was just his phone, he reached underneath himself and pulled it out of the sheets where it had gotten buried while he was sleeping.  He unlocked the screen and saw two new messages from Kyungsoo; one telling him he better not be late, and another telling him to wake his ass up and get moving.  Checking the time and seeing that he only had fifteen minutes to get there, Sehun groaned and stood up, sending a message back to let Kyungsoo know he was on his way.

-

“You made it,” Kyungsoo said from his place behind the register when Sehun entered the coffee shop fourteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds later.  Sehun didn’t appreciate his sass so early in the morning, but chose to keep his annoyance to himself.  Kyungsoo was doing him a favor, and he didn’t want to make a bad impression on his first day.

“Yeah.  Uh, thanks again for helping me with this so quick,” he said, watching as Kyungsoo handed the woman at the counter her drink.  He stepped out of the way when she turned and brushed past him to get to the exit, leaving the two boys alone in the store. 

“No problem.  I mean, technically you’re helping me out, too.  The faster you get trained, the faster I can quit,” Kyungsoo reminded him.  “Come on.”  He gestured for Sehun to come behind the counter with him, then led him through a set of double doors and into a short hallway.  They stopped at the first door on the left and Kyungsoo knocked.  When they heard a faint “ _Come in!_ ” come from the other side of the door, Kyungsoo turned the knob and let them in.

“Hey, he’s here,” Sehun heard Kyungsoo say as he followed him into the small, brightly-lit office.

“Ah, Sehun, nice to meet you,” the man who must be Kyungsoo’s uncle said, standing and extending his hand across the desk between them.  Sehun shook his hand and took a seat in the only chair in the room, apart from the one behind the desk, when it was offered.  “Thanks, Kyungsoo.”

Recognizing his dismissal, Kyungsoo let himself out, closing the door behind him.

“Alright, Sehun, I’ve got a few papers for you to fill out.”

-

An hour later, Sehun was on his way to school.  After what seemed like an endless amount of paperwork, he was given a training schedule for the next few days based on when Kyungsoo would be there to work with him.  He had to be back half an hour after school ended to watch some videos, then he would get some practical experience with Kyungsoo at the register when he was finished.  And then he had to go right back at five-thirty the next morning to learn how to open the store.  He was already concerned about the amount of sleep he was going to lose.

-

Jongin was starving.

Not just ‘I could go for a slice or two of pizza right now’ hungry.  No, this was ‘my stomach is trying to digest itself’ starvation.  Or at least that’s what it felt like.  Jongin couldn’t remember ever feeling so hungry.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been so bad if his body had just cooperated with him that morning and let him eat something.  But no, his stomach had to go and try to turn itself inside out at the first whiff of the eggs his mom had been kind enough to make for him.  (The whole thing with smells that had never bothered him before suddenly making him want to throw up everything he had ever eaten in his entire life was already getting really old.)

The obvious solution to Jongin's problem was to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat.  The problem with that solution, however, was that he and Sehun shared a lunch period, and he wasn’t sure how the other would react if they crossed paths.  It had been easy to avoid him all morning since they didn’t have any classes together that day, but he didn’t think his luck would hold out if they were in the same room, regardless of how big said room was.

He decided he had to take the chance, however, reasoning with himself that the fact of the matter was that he was no longer responsible for only himself, and he had to get used to doing things for the well-being of his kid whether he liked those things or not.  During his whole walk across the school he told himself that he would just get in and get out; buy something quick and then sit outside in the courtyard.  It wasn’t too cold to do that yet.  He wouldn’t even be in there long enough to see Sehun, or for Sehun to see him.  It would be fine.

So, of course, as soon as he stepped through the door into the loud lunch room, he looked up and immediately saw Sehun.  He was at their usual table, dropping his bag on a chair.  Then he was turning away from the table and taking a step in Jongin's direction.  Then their eyes were meeting.  Then Sehun froze in his tracks.

He looked… shocked?  To see Jongin?  No, not shocked.  He looked scared.  Terrified, even.  Like seeing Jongin was at the top of his list of nightmares and now it was coming true.

Disappointment, embarrassment, anger, and sadness all seemed to be vying for the title of Jongin's Most Overwhelming Emotion when Sehun made no move to come any closer to him.  He had told himself to expect it, knew it was coming with the way Sehun had run away from him the day before.  But Jongin still couldn’t control the tears that sprang to his eyes at having to actually experience it.

Ok, screw the food.  He would buy Baby an entire pizza later to make up for it, but he had to get out of there.  Hoping that no one had noticed his mini breakdown, Jongin quickly turned and darted out the door he had just come in.  He rubbed at his eyes, wiping away the moisture gathered in his lashes as he hightailed it away from the cafeteria, no plan in mind as to where he was going.

After wandering around aimlessly for a while, Jongin eventually found himself in front of an empty dance classroom and let himself in.  He had taken dance classes when he was younger, but gave it up as he got older and decided (influenced by several of his friends) that it was lame and “girly”.  He had always liked his dance classes, though, and being in the studio brought about a sense of nostalgia.  It was peaceful in there, and he suddenly couldn’t think of a better place to spend the rest of the day.

-

Oooh _shit._

As Sehun made eye contact with Jongin across the room, he realized how big of a mistake he had made.  Less than twenty-four hours ago, Jongin had told him probably the most important thing he could ever tell him, and Sehun left him alone with nothing more than a promise to talk to him later that night that he didn’t even keep.  In his rush to try to do the Right Thing for his future child, he forgot that Jongin was there in the present and needed his emotional support right away.  Sehun felt like pretty much the biggest asshole on the planet right at that point.

By the time Sehun’s epiphany had been had and he refocused on the world around him, Jongin was out of sight.  Cursing under his breath, Sehun took off in the direction Jongin must have disappeared in.  He didn’t know what he could possibly say to apologize for being such a totally insensitive prick, but he had to at least find him and say something.

He checked the bathrooms right outside the cafeteria doors, hoping to get lucky, but Jongin wasn’t there.  Nor was he in the library, his next class, or the supply room on the second floor they would sneak off to every once in a while when they were bored.  When he had exhausted all of Jongin's usual hangouts, he pulled his phone out of his pocket to text him and ask where he was, but it wouldn’t turn on. 

Of course it was dead, he had slept on it instead of charging it last night.  Fantastic.

Twenty minutes into his search, Sehun realized it was futile.  Jongin obviously didn’t want to be found, so Sehun would give him his space.  He stopped his hunt and headed back to the cafeteria to pick up his bag that had been sitting there unattended the whole time. 

-

Jongin was surprised that he was able to stay in the dance room undisturbed for the rest of the day.  He was sure someone would show up and tell him to go to class, or at least kick him out so another class could use the room.  He had spent the time going over the chapter they were supposed to cover in his math class that day.  Most of it was understandable, but he did have a few questions for his teacher the next time he bothered to show up to class.

When three-thirty rolled around, he packed up his books and left the room, joining the throng of students making their way to the exit.  He kept his head down and tried to make himself as unnoticeable as possible, while simultaneously keeping watch for Sehun.  Just when he thought he was clear, he caught sight of him near the main exit.  Jongin hid behind a staircase, intending to wait until Sehun had gotten far clear of the door before he moved.

But Sehun wasn’t going anywhere.  In fact, he was facing away from the door and seemed to be waiting for someone.  That was a little bit odd because the only person Sehun ever waited for at the end of the day was Jongin.  And Sehun didn’t want to be around Jongin anymore.  Right?

Right.  That was right.  Sehun had made it clear that that was what he wanted.  Jongin wasn’t going to fool himself into thinking that there was still a chance.  And look, right there, Kyungsoo was walking up to Sehun and talking to him, and they were leaving together.  He hadn’t been waiting for Jongin after all.

Once they had gone, Jongin waited another minute to make sure he wouldn’t run into either of them outside, then emerged from his hiding spot and went home.

-

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Kyungsoo asked Sehun as they walked across the school parking lot together.  “You were acting weird at lunch, like more weird than normal, and right now you seem kind of… not with it.”

Sehun cleared his throat and looked up at Kyungsoo.  “Yeah, I’m fine,” he lied.  Kyungsoo didn’t look convinced.  Damn.

“Does it have anything to do with why you suddenly needed a job at midnight last night?”  Ugh, why did he have to be so perceptive?  Sehun looked away from him and kept his mouth shut.  “Ok, your business is your business.  Fair enough.  But if you fuck something up and my uncle fires you because you’re incompetent, that’s on you.”  Sehun snorted.  “Also, if you need to talk to someone, just let me know.”

Sehun knew he needed to talk to Jongin before he talked to anyone else about any of his problems, but he appreciated that Kyungsoo was willing to be there for him if he needed it.  “Thanks,” he muttered quietly just before they parted ways to go to their own cars. 


	4. chapter 4

Jongin walked home from school slowly, taking the time to try and clear his thoughts.  It wouldn’t do him any good to keep dwelling on Sehun.  It would just cause him more stress, and that wouldn’t be good for him or the baby.  As much as he wished his life wasn’t his own at the moment, he was terrified of doing something wrong and hurting himself or the tiny life inside him.

Even though he had only known about it for a day, he was already weirdly attached.  Finding out that he had been caring for another person for the past seven-ish weeks (he and Sehun had only forgone protection the one time, go figure) without even knowing it made him feel several different things all at once.  For one, he felt bad that he hadn’t known and had gone on about his life as usual, which didn’t always include him making the healthiest choices for himself.  It also made him feel protective.  He didn’t know anything about this new person, wouldn’t even get to meet them properly until next summer, but he wanted to take care of them the best he could.

Eventually he would have to talk to Sehun about it.  It was just as much Sehun’s as it was his.  Whether Sehun wanted to be involved or not was something they would have to discuss.  If not (which looked to be the case), well, then… Jongin would just have to deal with that outcome when the time came.  That conversation didn’t have to happen right away, though.  Jongin could afford to take the next few days to process the information more thoroughly, himself, and give Sehun time to do the same.  Hopefully by the weekend they would be able to talk to each other about it and figure out what course of action to take.

Jongin let himself in the front door of his house, ready to plop down on the couch and watch TV by himself for the rest of the evening since his mom had to work late.  Maybe he would order that pizza he had promised Baby when he skipped lunch earlier.  He didn’t expect to hear someone call out to him from the kitchen as soon as he closed the door.

“ _Jongin, is that you_?”

“Yeah!” he yelled back when he recognized his mom’s voice.  He kicked his shoes off and dropped his bag on the floor under the coat rack, then shuffled down the hall toward the kitchen, stopping and leaning against the doorway as he watched his mom take things out of a grocery bag on the counter.  “I thought you had to work tonight.”

Jongin's mom glanced over her shoulder at him when she heard him speak so closely, but continued putting away everything she took out of the bag.  “I got Martha to cover my shift tonight,” she explained, taking the last thing out of the reusable bag and folding it up to store it in the pantry.  “I figured we could have a pizza and movie night and just hang out, maybe talk a little,” she said, turning to him with a smile and leaning back against the counter casually.

And wasn’t it just like her to know exactly what he needed?  No matter the situation, Jongin could always count on her to make things better.  He had been ready to accept his fate of a lonely night, to let himself get carried away with woeful thoughts, but there she was ready to help him turn it around.  Before he could let his sudden flood of emotions manifest into something as ridiculous as tears, he stepped fully into the kitchen and hugged her, leaning down to rest his head on her shoulder and staying there.  “That sounds perfect,” he said, feeling some of the tension that had built up in him since the day before melt away as she rubbed his back soothingly.

“How are you feeling?” she asked when he finally stood up straight again, putting her hands on his cheeks and directing him to look up at her.  “Have you eaten anything today?”  The loud rumble that sounded from Jongin's stomach at that particular moment was answer enough.  “Jongin,” she said, voice stern and smile disappearing.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Jongin said with a grimace, once again feeling guilty when he thought about neglecting his needs, and in turn his child’s.

“Don’t apologize to me.  I’m not the one who’s going to suffer if you starve yourself.”  She patted his cheek and gave him a sympathetic look that only made him feel worse.

“I know,” he said again, taking a deep breath.  “I’m going to do better.  I just didn’t feel like being around that many people at once today, so I didn’t go to lunch.”  He left out the part about his encounter with Sehun, not wanting to open that can of worms just yet.  He hadn’t told her who the other father was yet, having been so overwhelmed at the news, himself, that he hadn’t been able to say much of anything when they left the hospital the day before.  She hadn’t pressured him into opening up about it right away.  Instead, she dropped him off at home and went to work, giving him time to come to terms with it before she upset him with too many questions.  He had no doubt those questions would come eventually, but he was grateful that she was holding back for now.  “It won’t happen again,” he promised.

She sighed and gave him a pitying look.  “I know this is hard for you, Jongin.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be in your position.  But you made a choice, and now you have to deal with the consequences.  I know,” she started, holding up her hand to stop him from interrupting her when he opened his mouth and forging on in extreme mom mode, “I know you couldn’t have known this would happen, but it did.  You could have just as easily ended up with some kind of disease and had that to deal with instead.  Luckily you didn’t, but that doesn’t mean you got the easy option.  I’m not going to sugar-coat it; your life is going to be more challenging that a lot of peoples’ now.  You’re going to have to go outside your comfort zone a lot more than you’re used to.  Including going to the crowded cafeteria when you don’t want to, because you _have_ to eat.”  Here she paused and her face softened again.  “But I want you to know that you can always come to me when things get rough.  I love you more than anything, and I will always be here to help you in any way I can.”

Jongin didn’t even realize he was crying until his mom reached up to wipe away his tears.  “Ugh, fucking hormones,” he mumbled, stepping away from her in embarrassment and wiping the rest of the wetness from his eyes with his shirt sleeve.

“Hey, language,” she scolded him without severity, swatting at his shoulder gently.  He rolled his eyes, but cooperated and kept his vocabulary clean. 

“So, speaking of you needing to eat, I stopped at the store and got some things for you today.  I stocked up on foods that are good for you.  And I also got you some vitamins,” she said, turning and grabbing a bottle from the counter behind her.  “Make sure you take them every day.”  She handed him one of the pills and filled a glass with water for him.  Jongin popped the pill into his mouth and downed the entire glass of water with it, earning a satisfied smile from her.

“I also made an appointment for you to see a doctor on Monday after you get out of school,” she went on, taking the empty glass from Jongin and setting it in the sink.  “So I’ll pick you up at the end of the day.  Make sure you’re out on time, no hanging around with Sehun after class.”

Jongin ignored the uncomfortable twist in his gut at the mention of Sehun’s name, nodding in understanding.  “Thank you,” he said sincerely, hoping she knew how much it meant to him to have her there, helping him through everything.  He truly didn’t know if he could do it without her.  She could easily have been like so many others who turned their back on their friends and family when they found out they had a carrier in their midst, but she didn’t.  Instead she accepted the news and his new lot in life, offering nothing but her full support without hesitation.  Jongin felt truly lucky to be able to call her his mother.

“You’re welcome,” she said, patting his cheek affectionately again with a warm smile.  “Now, what do you want on your pizza?”

-

To say that Sehun was frustrated would be an understatement.

His day had started off rocky when he woke up late, got worse when he ran into Jongin at lunch, and was currently at its lowest point.  He had had to sit through several hours of training videos and computer simulations when he got back to the coffee shop that afternoon, and he thought that that, as boring as it was, would have been the worst part of his new job, but he was wrong.  No, nothing could compete with Kyungsoo standing behind him while he was at the register and correcting every little thing he did wrong.

Technically, _technically_ , Kyungsoo was just doing his job; teaching Sehun the proper way to use the cash register and interact with the customers.  But Sehun had a feeling he was taking an indecent amount of pleasure in pointing out each and every mistake, no matter how small, and correcting him in great detail.  If Sehun wasn’t desperate to keep the job (and maybe a little bit concerned about what Kyungsoo would do if he backed out now), he would have walked out the door already.  Every time the urge rose up in him he had to remind himself that he was doing this for Jongin and their baby.  They needed him, and he was going to be there for them, dammit.

Luckily, after Sehun handed the man standing on the other side of the counter his receipt (something he had forgotten to do one time and would never forget again after the ten minute lecture on why it was important), Kyungsoo told him that he could take a break.  He happily stepped away from the register and let Becky, a first year creative writing major at the community college in town, take over for him.  He followed Kyungsoo through the same doors as he had that morning, but this time they went all the way to the end of the hall to a door on the right.

The break room was small, barely big enough for the folding table and chairs set up in the middle and the mini fridge with a microwave sitting on top of it pushed into the far corner, but at least it was quiet.  Sehun sat down heavily on one of the chairs and laid his head on the table.  He automatically went to pull his phone out of his pocket before remembering that it was dead and letting his hand flop to his lap instead, groaning.

“Are you ok?” Kyungsoo asked for the second time that day from his seat on the other side of the table.  Sehun raised his head off the table and looked up at Kyungsoo, who was watching him intently.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sehun said once again, sitting up straight.  “Just, you know, it’s been a long day.  And I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”  Kyungsoo continued to watch him too closely for comfort, and Sehun had to force himself not to squirm under the scrutiny.  The way Kyungsoo was looking at him told him that Kyungsoo knew there was something else going on, but he didn’t ask any more questions.  Nevertheless, Sehun felt like he needed to come up with a better answer to appease him.  He took a deep breath and looked down at his hands before opening his mouth, choosing his words carefully.

“Okay, so, I kind of did something that had… unforeseen consequences.  I’m going to have to deal with some serious shit relatively soon, and I don’t really know what to do.  Yes, it’s the reason I needed a job at midnight last night,” he said, answering Kyungsoo’s question from earlier in the day.  He looked up briefly to gauge Kyungsoo’s reaction, but Kyungsoo’s face remained neutral, so he went on.  “I’m kind of freaking out because I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can’t really say anything else about it right now.”  Thinking about it was making him anxious again.  The fact that he still hadn’t talked to Jongin was weighing heavily on his mind, assaulting him every time he had a moment alone with his thoughts and making him feel like an even bigger jerk.

Sehun’s mental battle with himself was interrupted several moments later by Kyungsoo’s simple, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Sehun repeated, confused.  “That’s it?”

Kyungsoo shrugged.  “I mean, what do you want me to say?  That was a pretty vague story.  I don’t know what you did, so I don’t really have any advice to offer.  Look, I’m not going to force you to say anything you don’t want to say, but I meant what a said earlier.  I know we’re not _great_ friends, but we _are_ friends.  If you need to talk to someone, you can talk to me.”

Sehun nodded slowly, not quite sure what else to say since he couldn’t elaborate any further.

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, you’re doing a hell of a lot better out there than most people do on their first day,” Kyungsoo said then, trying to lighten the mood.

“You’re kidding, right?”  Sehun was skeptical.  With the way Kyungsoo had been berating him all afternoon, he figured he was the most useless employee to ever work there.

“Yes, really.  Believe it or not, you’re actually catching on to everything really quickly.”

“Oh, so you _were_ just being an asshole whenever you bitched at me for something.”

“Only sometimes.  I have to entertain myself somehow,” Kyungsoo said mischievously.  Despite everything going on, Sehun had to let loose and laugh at that, grateful for the normalcy of Kyungsoo’s behavior.  “But for real, though, you’re doing way better than Becky did when she first started.  It took at least a week for us to trust her to use the register unsupervised.  I’m pretty sure you could handle it now.”

“Okay, I guess that does make me feel a little bit better,” Sehun said, preening somewhat at the praise.  It was a little weird to hear it from Kyungsoo, but he would take what he could get.

Just then the break room door swung open and in walked Becky, eyes glued to her phone and thumbs tapping away at an impressive speed.  She didn’t say a word to either of them as she took a seat in the chair closest to the door.

“Becky.”  Kyungsoo tried to get her attention, but she barely acknowledged him.

“Hmm.”

“ _Becky_.”

“ _What_?”  She finally peeled her eyes away from her phone screen and looked up at Kyungsoo, clearly miffed at being dragged away from whatever she was doing.

“Becky, who’s watching the register?” Kyungsoo asked pointedly.

“It’s time for my break,” she said in lieu of an actual answer, showing no remorse at leaving the store unmanned as she looked back down at her phone.  “You guys have been back here forever.”

Kyungsoo scoffed at her excuse, but couldn’t say much in his and Sehun’s defense as a glance at the clock on the wall told him that they had, in fact, been sitting there longer than they should have been.  “Next time make sure you say something before you walk away,” he said as he stood up.  Sehun followed suit, and the two of them returned to their post where an agitated soccer mom was waiting to order a grande, iced, sugar-free, vanilla latte with soy milk, “ _And could you be quick about it?  I’m running late_.”

“Go ahead,” Kyungsoo said, gesturing for Sehun to take over the register.  “You take orders, I’ll make the drinks.”

Sehun nodded, ready to prove that he could handle his job without a babysitter.  He entered her order and took her payment with a smile, even as she sneered at him for keeping her waiting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know there wasn't much to this chapter, but hopefully it was still worth reading. i had more planned, but i thought it would have been too long if i included everything. since i already have notes for what comes next, that means i should be able to get the next chapter done faster. thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this so far :) i really appreciate all the comments you guys leave me.


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bet you guys thought i was gone forever, didn't you? surprise! i'm not. i'm really sorry it took so long to get this chapter to you. real life shit happened.
> 
> so this chapter is a little bit longer than the others. do you guys like longer chapters, or should i stick to shorter ones? and i think i caught most of the spelling/grammar errors, but if you guys see anything that needs fixed just let me know. 
> 
> please let me know what you guys think of this so far! i appreciate every single comment i get. they really help motivate me when i get stuck.

By the end of their second movie Jongin couldn’t stop yawning.  His mom suggested he call it a night and just go to bed, and though he wanted to argue (it was nice to spend time with her, something he hadn’t made a priority in a long time) he knew she was probably right.  It had been a trying day, and he was ready to put it behind him.

But when he laid down in his bed, lights out and blanket up to his chin, he couldn’t fall asleep.  His body was tired, but his mind wouldn’t slow down enough to turn off.  Twenty minutes went by and he was no closer to dreamland than he had been at noon.

He could try reading.  Reading helped people fall asleep, right?  Except he hadn’t bought any new books since middle school, and books meant for 12-year-olds didn’t sound all that appealing.  Maybe some soothing music would do the trick.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand next to his bed and opened his favorite music app, searching for something to help him relax.  He tried out a few different playlists until he came across one he liked.  And then his phone died.

Groaning, he reached over to the nightstand again to grab his charger, but couldn’t find it where it normally was.  He sat up and turned on the lamp on the table to see if it had fallen on the floor, but it was nowhere to be found.  Then he remembered that he had used it in the living room the day before and dropped it… somewhere when he brought it back to his room.   He scanned his room quickly and spotted it on his desk.  Of course.

Jongin laid there, staring across the room, debating whether it was worth it to get up.  He didn’t _need_ the music.  If he laid there long enough he would eventually fall asleep without it.  But he did need his alarm to wake up in the morning, which he wouldn’t be able to do without help if he didn’t get to sleep soon.  _Ugh_.  Jongin groaned again in resignation, tossing his blanket aside and standing up to head to his desk.

As he grabbed the charger from the cluttered mess that was his desk, he bumped a precariously balanced stack of papers and sent them fluttering to the floor.  He took a second to question the universe about why his life had to be that way and then bent down to pick them up.  As he set them back on the desk, only slightly more carefully balanced than before, the item sitting on top of the pile caught his eye.  It was the informational booklet the doctor had given him at the hospital.

He hadn’t bothered looking past the front cover when she had handed it to him at first, having been too overwhelmed by the news of his pregnancy to do much other than try not to cry, and then cry anyway.  Now that he was over the initial shock, it seemed like it would be a good idea to see what wisdom it had to share.

Dropping his charger back onto his desk (and _not_ knocking anything over in the process), he slid into his desk chair and opened it up.  He skimmed through the few pages it contained, grimacing at the more detailed diagrams; he could have lived his life perfectly happy without knowing certain things about his own body.  It _was_ useful, though, especially the list of websites on the back page.

He briefly considered looking at one of the sites listed under the ‘more information’ section just to see what it was like, but the memory of the pictures he had already seen was enough to convince him to wait until he was a little bit more mentally prepared for such a task.  Instead he decided to check out one of the support group sites, figuring it would be less traumatizing.  And it couldn’t hurt to connect with other people like him, people he could share his experiences with and get advice from.

He set the booklet to the side, opening his laptop on the desk in front of him and navigating his way to the group with the least silly sounding name.  When the main page loaded he was surprised to see that it was just a message board.  He had expected lots of cutesy, baby-themed decorations all over the page, but there was nothing more than a purple and green color scheme.  He wasn’t quite ready to dive into the world of all things baby just yet, so the simplicity of the site was a relief.

He perused the most recent posts on the front page, scrolling through them steadily until one in particular stood out to him.  Someone called Bbaek was asking who else was going through their first pregnancy, and if anyone was about as far along as he was.  Jongin fit the criteria, but didn’t know if he should say anything or just keep scrolling.  And then he realized that it would be stupid of him to bypass the opportunity to befriend the person.  That was exactly the reason he had visited the site in the first place. 

He clicked in the box to respond, but was stopped from doing so by a pop-up on the screen telling him that he needed to create an account to reply to messages.  Well that was frustrating.  A glance at the clock told him that it was a few minutes after ten, and he should really wait until the next day to start in on this journey, so he clicked the ‘create account’ button and set up his profile.  When he was finished he found the post again and was able to respond.

_Hey, my name is Jongin.  I actually just found yesterday that I’m pregnant.  I’m about two weeks behind you._

Not knowing what else to say, Jongin hit send.  He sat there for a minute waiting to see if anyone else would add to the conversation, or if the original poster would reply to him.  It was a long shot considering it had been almost half an hour since it had first been posted, and he was the only one to respond so far.  Just before he could go back to the main page to continue looking through the other threads, a notification popped up at the bottom of the page announcing that there was a new reply.  He reloaded the page and read the new message that had appeared.

_Hi, Jongin!  I’m Baekhyun.  Congratulations!  You must be so excited!  I know how happy I was when I found out.  My husband and I have been trying for a while now, so I almost couldn’t believe it when it finally happened._

Jongin couldn’t stop the bubble of sarcastic laughter that burst out of him as he read.

_Congratulations to you, too.  That’s really great for you guys.  I don’t know if excited is the word I’d use.  More like extremely shocked._

It took less than a ten seconds for Baekhyun to reply.

_Oh, so it was a… happy accident?  Were you and your partner not trying to get pregnant?_

No, no they definitely were not trying to get pregnant.  And there for sure weren’t _partners_.  Jongin started typing a reply to clarify those points, but stopped when he remembered that it would be out in the open, available to anyone and everyone who happened to visit the site.  While no one would actually know who he was, he still didn’t like the idea of sharing his story with potentially the entire internet, so he deleted everything and started again.

_Not exactly.  Hey, is there like a private messenger on this site?  I’d rather not have everyone see everything I have to say for now_.

A few moments later a box popped up at the bottom of the screen with a message from Baekhyun.

_Bbaek  
Hey.  So you and your partner weren’t trying to have a baby?_

_Kji001  
Uh, no.  I wasn’t trying to get pregnant.  And I don’t have a ‘partner’._

_Bbaek  
Oh.  So it wasn’t a happy accident either._

_Kji001  
Nope, not really.  Do you mind if I kind of word vomit at you for a minute?  Then we can get past this awkward part of the conversation._

_Bbaek  
Yeah, sure, go ahead._

_Kji001  
Ok, so, no I wasn’t expecting to get pregnant.  I didn’t even know I could.  Basically a few months ago my friend and I started fooling around every once in a while and one of those times we didn’t use a condom and boom, baby happened.  Except I didn’t know I was a carrier, so I just thought I was sick or something until I went to the hospital yesterday and found out I’m 7 weeks pregnant.  And when I told Sehun, the other father, he kind of had a non-reaction and then left and I haven’t heard from him since._

_Bbaek  
Oh, Jongin, I’m sorry.  I don’t really know what to say._

_Kji001  
It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything about it.  I really just wanted to meet someone I could talk to about being pregnant.  Like, to see if what I’m going through is normal and stuff.  I just figured it’s easier to get the uncomfortable stuff out of the way now instead of trying to hide it and then have you find out anyway.  So yeah, that’s my story._

When Baekhyun took longer than a few seconds to reply, Jongin thought maybe he had scared him off by spilling his guts like that.  He knew he would have been a little weirded out if someone had done the same to him.  But then Baekhyun’s rapid-fire responses started coming through and Jongin found himself laughing again, this time in amusement.

_Bbaek_  
_We can be pregnancy buddies!_  
 _We can keep each other updated on how things are going and share pictures and talk about names!_  
 _This is going to be so much fun!_  
 _Well, I mean, you know._  
 _I know your situation isn’t exactly ideal for you._  
 _I just want to help you get through it._  
 _And, you know, make it as pleasant of an experience as it can be._  
 _But don’t think you have to pretend to be happy about it if you’re not._

It was incredible how fast Baekhyun could type.  Jongin sat there staring at the screen in amazement as the little dot-dot-dot symbol appeared again, and he knew he had to cut in or Baekhyun would never stop trying to say the right thing.

_Kji001_  
_Dude, calm down._  
 _It’s ok for you to be happy about your own life._  
 _I won’t pretend to be happy if I’m not, but I’m not like wallowing in despair here._  
 _That was yesterday lol._  
 _But seriously, yeah, it’s kind of a shitty situation, but life goes on._  
 _This is my life now, so I’m going to make the best of it._  
 _I’m looking forward to doing all the stuff you’re excited about :)_

Jongin didn’t know if he truly believed everything he had just said yet, but he was determined to do so soon.  He needed to believe that he was living his best life if he was going to give his baby their best life.

_Bbaek  
Wow, Jongin.  I really admire your courage.  Not everyone would look at it that way._

_Kji001  
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably freak out at some point._

_Bbaek  
Yeah, I guess that’s to be expected.  From everything I’ve researched so far it looks like pregnancy is going to be a wild ride.  And being unprepared for it can only make it seem more intimidating._

_Kji001  
I’m definitely not thinking about the fact that I know absolutely nothing and am entirely unprepared for this.  At least until the weekend._

_Bbaek  
Oh, shit, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.  I’m sorry._

_Kji001_  
_Dude, you’ve really got to calm down.  I’m joking.  If anything you say bothers me I’ll let you know._  
 _Don’t feel like you have to watch everything you say to me.  That will make me more uncomfortable than anything else._

_Bbaek  
…ok_

_Kji001_  
_Ok._  
 _Hey, can we maybe talk more tomorrow?  I really need to go to sleep.  I have school in the morning._

_Bbaek  
Oh, are you in college?_

_Kji001  
No, high school._

_Bbaek  
You’re in high school??  How old are you??_

_Kji001  
18.  How old are you?_

_Bbaek_  
_I’m 23._  
 _Ok, don’t freak out about this, but I’m feeling very protective and parental over you right now._  
 _Like, I really just want to hug you and give you hot cocoa and cookies and tell you everything is going to be ok._  
 _Like, if you ever really need me to give you a hug and cocoa just say the word and I’ll literally get in my car right away._  
 _I’m sorry if that sounds really weird._  
 _Shit, that does sound really weird, doesn’t it?_

_Kji001_  
_Lol, chill.  It’s cool._  
 _It’s actually weirdly comforting, so thanks._

_Bbaek  
You’re welcome :D _

_Kji001_  
_Ok, I really do have to sleep.  It’s almost midnight.  But I’ll probably be around tomorrow sometime.  You listened to me vent, but I didn’t really give you a chance to tell me anything about you._  
 _Thanks again._

_Bbaek  
Alright, sweetie.  I hope you sleep well._

_Kji001  
Goodnight._

Jongin exited the site and closed his laptop, but didn’t move from his chair right away.  He was happy he had decided to talk to someone.  It made him feel less alone, even though it was just someone on the internet, possibly thousands of miles away.  As much as he knew his mom would be there for him no matter what, it was different being able to confide in someone who was going through the same thing right along with him.  Not to mention it would be way less embarrassing asking questions to a computer screen than his mother.

With his mind somewhat at ease for the time being, Jongin thought he could probably finally fall asleep.  He stood up from his chair, back popping loudly as he stretched his arms over his head.  Then, grabbing his charger one more time, he made his way back to his bed, plugged his phone in, and flopped tiredly onto his back.  As his phone came back to life it vibrated with several notifications he must have gotten while it was off.  Jongin ignored the buzzing, his heavy eyelids slipping closed, and made a mental note to check them in the morning.

\---

It was just after ten at night, and Sehun’s front door was finally within sight.  Only half a block more and he would be home.  All he wanted to do was fall into his bed and sleep for at least ten hours. 

As it turned out, the coffee shop was even busier in the evening.  Who knew people _actually_ went on coffee dates?  Apparently that was really a thing people did, and the location he worked at was incredibly popular for it.  Business hadn’t slowed down until about nine o’clock, half an hour before closing time, and up to that point Sehun was moving non-stop.  He hadn’t even had time to think about how exhausted he was until the doors were locked.

Unfortunately he didn’t have the luxury of enjoying sweet, sweet unconsciousness just yet.  He needed a shower.  He had homework to do.  He needed food.  But most importantly he needed to talk to Jongin.

Knowing that he hadn’t said a single word to Jongin for more than a day weighed heavily on him, constantly hovering at the back of his mind through everything he did all afternoon.  His only concern at the moment was to talk to him, explain why he hadn’t done so sooner, and let him know that he had nothing to worry about.

All the windows were dark when Sehun walked up to his front door.  Assuming his parents were already in bed, he opened the door as quietly as possible to keep from waking them, but his cautiousness was proved unnecessary when he saw both of them sitting in the dark living room and looking at something on his dad’s laptop on the coffee table in front of them.

“Hey,” Sehun called to them in greeting as he closed and locked the door behind him.  They looked up in unison, surprise highlighted on their faces in the electronic glow of the computer screen.

“Sehun, you’re home,” his dad said, schooling his face into a neutral expression.

“We were wondering where you were,” his mom chimed in.  “What kept you out so late?”

Sehun wondered whether she was truly concerned, or if she was just worried that he was out getting up to something that would reflect poorly on their family.  She liked to think that they were much more important than they really were, and that the community kept a watchful eye on them at all times.  Sure, she and her husband both had good jobs and made an impressive amount of money, but it wasn’t enough for them to have the kind of status she so desperately wanted to believe they had.

However, her concern wasn’t without cause.  Sehun did have a tendency to get himself into some pretty sticky situations.  Any parent would be upset to have their teenage son escorted home by the police.  On more than one occasion.  It hadn’t happened in a few months, so she must have assumed that he was about due for some kind of trouble.

“Um, I got a job,” Sehun announced to them, the look of trepidation on his mother’s face only satisfying for so long.

His mother seemed to deflate where she sat.  “Sehun, I wish you wouldn’t lie to us.  It’s so disrespectful.  Your father and I do so much for you and you can’t even-“

_Wait, what?_

“Wait, what?”  Sehun cut her off.  That hadn’t been the response he had expected.  “No, for real, I got a job,” he insisted.

“Seriously?” his dad asked skeptically after a few seconds. 

“Yes, seriously.  My friend works at his uncle’s café, but he has too much homework now to keep up with a job, so he asked if I would take over for him.”  Was it really that hard to believe that he would do something responsible all on his own?  Ok, with Sehun’s track record, _maybe_ he could see why they would be suspicious…

“Well, I’m… surprised?  Honestly I don’t know what to say.  I never expected something like this from you, Sehun.  I’m impressed.”  His dad actually looked like he might be happy.  Wow, that was new.  “What made you decide to do that?”

Oh.  Sehun probably should have seen that coming.  He’d been pretty vocal about not wanting a job for a long time.  For him to suddenly get one literally overnight…  He would definitely be just as curious if he were in their shoes. 

There was no way he could tell them the real reason, though.  He could just imagine how that would go – _“Hey mom and dad, I accidentally got my best friend pregnant and now you’re going to have a grandchild with two fathers.  Oh, you’re kicking me out and you never want to see me or my unnatural offspring ever again?  Ok, bye.”_ No, it was best to keep that a secret for as long as possible.  If he could get away with never telling them, he would be perfectly fine with that.  But his parents were still looking at him expectantly, so he had to come up with something to say.

“Uh, I mean, you know,” Sehun stuttered, searching for the most believable thing he could give them for now.  “You guys are always telling me I need to grow up and be more responsible.  I figured getting a job was an ok way to start.”  They still didn’t look one hundred percent convinced.  Shit.  He needed to escape before they could interrogate him further.  He didn’t have the time or the brain power to sit through their questioning.  He wanted to sleep, and he _still_ hadn’t talked to Jongin.  “Ok, well, I need to go to bed.  I have to go back in the morning before school for more training.”  He made his hasty retreat then, not sticking around to see either of their reactions. 

He leaned against his bedroom door as it closed behind him, taking a deep breath as the latch clicked into place.  He would definitely have to get his story straight if he was going to be in the same room as his parents for any length of time.  Or, you know, speak to them at all ever again.  He could only go on ‘I wanted to be more responsible’ for so long before they demanded a real reason.

But first, Jongin.

Sehun launched himself away from the door, pulling his phone out of his pocket and reaching for his charger as he sat on his bed.  The few seconds it took for it to turn on when it was finally plugged in were some of the longest of his life.  The relief that flooded him when he pulled up Jongin's contact and pressed call was like nothing he had felt before.

That relief was short-lived, however.  There wasn’t even a single ring before he was sent to voicemail.  Huh.  Was Jongin screening his calls?  Sehun wouldn’t blame him if he was.  After the way it must have felt like he was ignoring him, Sehun would probably be pretty pissed, too.  But that just made him more anxious to explain himself to Jongin. 

He tried calling again.  And again.  Then one more time.

Ok, no one was that fast at declining calls, which meant Jongin's phone must have been off.  That was unusual, but it made Sehun feel marginally more hopeful that Jongin wasn’t actively ignoring him.  For the moment, anyway. 

Obviously calling him any more wasn’t going to do him any good, so Sehun settled for sending him a text asking him to call him back as soon as he got it, no matter what time it was.  Once the message was sent he sat there with his phone in his hand, hoping against hope that he would get a response.  When five minutes had passed and nothing had appeared, Sehun accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted and went to shower.

He managed to get through finding something for dinner and doing as much of his homework as his over-worked brain could handle before he allowed himself to check his phone again.  Even though he had told himself to expect nothing, he was still disappointed when that was exactly what he got.  In fact, the message he’d sent earlier remained unread.  He knew it would be pointless to do so, but he couldn’t stop himself from sending just one more text before accepting defeat for the night.  He would just have to find Jongin at school in the morning and talk to him in person.


	6. Chapter 6

Sehun made it to school three whole minutes before the bell to signal the start of first period rang.  The coffee shop had just hit its morning rush right before he left, and he had stuck around a few extra minutes to help out while his relief clocked in and took over for him.  If these past two mornings were anything to go by, Sehun had a feeling he was going to be short on time more often than not for the foreseeable future.  He wasn’t looking forward to it.

As he rushed to his English class he kept an eye out for Jongin.  Jongin had finally read Sehun’s texts at some point during his morning shift.  He hadn’t responded, though, and it made Sehun a little bit nervous.  He wasn’t sure what kind of attitude to expect from Jongin when he saw him, but the lack of response told him it couldn’t be anything good.

Part of him was afraid Jongin would continue ignoring him.  If that was the case he would have a hard time getting through the day having to share the majority of his classes with him.  He _needed_ to apologize for not talking to him until now, and he could see himself unintentionally making a scene in any one of their shared classes trying to do so if Jongin wouldn’t listen willingly.  Not that he had a problem making a scene in class, he’d done it plenty of times before.  He just didn’t want to upset Jongin more than he obviously already was.

He made it to class right on time, and was surprised to see Jongin already sitting in his usual seat looking… pretty normal, actually.  If Sehun didn’t know better he would never have guessed there was anything wrong with him.  Sehun slid into his seat next to Jongin like he did every class and dropped his backpack on the floor by his chair.

“Hi,” Sehun said cautiously after watching Jongin pointedly not look up from the game on his phone for a few seconds.

“Hey.” 

Well, he didn’t _sound_ like he was upset, but he didn’t sound like he was particularly happy, either.  Of course, a single word wasn’t much to go on.  “How are you?”  Sehun tried again, hoping for more of a reaction.

“I’m good,” Jongin said, seemingly unbothered by anything as he continued his game.

“Oh.  Really?”

“Uh, yeah, really.”  Jongin finally looked at Sehun then, eyebrows raised slightly as if asking why he shouldn’t be.

Okay, that was weird.  Sehun had expected to be ignored.  He had expected to be yelled at.  He had expected anger and resentment and indignation.  He hadn’t expected… nothing.  Jongin was acting like it was any other normal day, like neither of their lives were totally different now.

Jongin had been devastated the last time Sehun had talked to him, and had run and hid from him the next day.  He hadn’t tried to contact Sehun after Sehun had essentially abandoned him two days ago, and hadn’t answered when Sehun tried to call him.  And now he was sitting next to Sehun like none of that had happened.  Sehun hadn’t gotten enough sleep to have the brain function required to figure out why Jongin was pretending he was perfectly fine.  Unless…

Unless he wasn’t pretending?  Maybe… maybe Sehun had read the situation wrong the day before.  He thought Jongin had been running away from him when he saw him at lunch, but maybe he wasn’t.  He could have been going to get an assignment that he had missed from the day before, and Sehun had just overreacted.  Maybe Jongin really was ok.  He certainly _looked_ like he was alright.  Sehun wasn’t sure how he could be right now, what with having to alter all of his future plans because he was having a _baby_ -

Oh no.  What if… what if Jongin had decided to get rid of it?  And he wasn’t stressed about it because it wouldn’t be a problem anymore?  Sehun felt his stomach drop through the floor at that thought.  He hadn’t even considered that option before, and he immediately felt guilty thinking it might make things easier for both of them if that’s what Jongin had chosen to do.  He didn’t necessarily want it to happen, but he wouldn’t argue if it did.  After all, it was Jongin's decision to make, and he would support whatever he wanted.  Temporarily forgetting where he was, he opened his mouth to tell Jongin just that, but was interrupted by the teacher entering the room and starting class.

\---

_Okay, you’re fine, you can do this.  He’s not going to say it in class.  He’s not that kind of person.  Just stay calm.  Breathe in, breathe out._   Jongin gave himself a mental pep talk when he saw Sehun enter the classroom out of the corner of his eye.  He had been anxiously awaiting his arrival all morning. 

When Jongin had woken up that morning and checked his phone he saw all of the notifications he had ignored the night before.  They were mostly calls and texts from Sehun saying that he needed to talk to him, but not saying what he needed to talk about.  Jongin was sure Sehun wanted to tell him that he was on his own, that Sehun didn’t want to be involved in such a negative situation.

Jongin's heart rate had kicked up a notch, and he locked his phone instead of answering anything.  He couldn’t bring himself to have that conversation just then.  He wanted to make it through the day as emotionally stable as possible, and he wouldn’t be able to after hearing something like that.  If he could just make it to the end of the day, then he would listen to anything Sehun had to say to him.  He could talk to Baekhyun about whatever happened, and he would have the entire weekend to recover.

When Sehun started talking to him after he sat down, Jongin thought he was going to say whatever he had to say right then and there, in front of all of their classmates.  It took all of his will power to answer him as casually as possible.  If he pretended everything was fine, maybe Sehun would leave him alone for the time being.  It seemed to be working; Sehun stopped talking and just looked at him for a few moments, his expression carefully neutral.

But then his face changed abruptly and he looked worried, which made Jongin anxious all over again.  Sehun wouldn’t _actually_ out him in front of all those people, would he?  No, there was no way he would be that cruel.  _Please, Sehun, don’t say it.  Wait until we’re alone.  No, close your mouth-_

Jongin could have kissed the teacher for choosing that exact moment to walk in and stop Sehun from saying whatever he had been about to say.  Jongin shoved his phone into his hoodie pocket and focused intently on the front of the room where the teacher was taking a stack of papers out of his bag to return to their owners.

Sehun guessed he was lucky that he was stopped from saying something he didn’t actually want to say while in class, as frustrating as it was that it meant he had to wait even longer to say it.  He took one last look at Jongin, trying to catch his eye at least once to see if he could decipher any kind of emotion there, but Jongin refused to look his way again.  He changed tactics then, waiting until the teacher was occupied, and hiding his phone under his desk to text Jongin.

Jongin felt his phone vibrate against his abdomen.  It tickled and made him twitch awkwardly, but he ignored it.  If it meant Sehun stayed quiet he would put up with it for the next hour and fifteen minutes without complaint.

Sehun gave up when it became obvious that Jongin was going to continue ignoring him.  He didn’t want to risk getting Jongin in trouble, but he was getting desperate.  He needed Jongin to know how sorry he was for not being there for him when he should have been, and he needed to tell him sooner rather than later.  He didn’t want Jongin to feel like he was alone in this.

When the class was over Jongin stuffed his papers into his backpack and bolted out the door.  Sehun had been anticipating such a move and took off after him only a few steps behind.

“Jongin, wait up!” Sehun called after him.  Jongin, unsurprisingly, didn’t slow down.  Sehun sped up, dodging bodies in the crowded hallway, and caught up with him before he made it to their next class.  “Would you stop for a second and talk to me?” he snapped, grabbing Jongin's shoulder and forcing him to turn and face him.

“Sehun, we have to get to class,” Jongin said, trying to shake Sehun’s hand off and keep walking.  Sehun refused to let go.

“We have four and a half minutes, it only takes 30 seconds to get there.  So can we talk?  Please?”

Jongin stopped trying to get away and glared at sehun.  He took in a deep breath, preparing to tell him off for nagging him, but the fight left him instantly, and he let it out in a giant whoosh of air instead.  His eyes dropped to the floor before he spoke.  “Look, can we not do this right now?”  Jongin sounded utterly defeated.  Sehun hated himself for making him feel that way.  “I just…  I don’t want to have this conversation where other people might hear it,” he mumbled, looking around nervously to see if anyone was paying attention to them.

Sehun could do nothing but blink at him for a moment.  Did Jongin really think he wanted to talk about the baby right then?  In public?  That was…  Well, it made sense that Jongin was avoiding talking to him if that’s what he thought it was about.  “Jongin, I’m not- that wasn’t-.  Yes, we can talk about _that_ later.  I just wanted to apologize.  For not calling you the other night.”  Sehun wanted to be angry at Jongin for having so little faith in him, but pushed it aside for the time being.  This wasn’t about him right now.  Jongin finally looked up at him from where he had been studying the pattern in the carpet, but before he could say anything Sehun continued speaking.  “I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you like I said I would.  I promise I meant to call you after our stupid dinner thing, but I was overwhelmed and started panicking and looking for a job, but I couldn’t find anything good so I ended up calling Kyungsoo at like midnight and telling him I would take his job if it was still available so he can spend all his time studying like the nerd he is.”  He said it all very quickly, like he couldn’t physically stop himself once he started.  “And I started training yesterday morning and my phone was dead all day because I forgot to charge it after I called Kyungsoo and I couldn’t do anything about it until I got home at like ten o’clock last night, and the first thing I did when it turned on was try to call you, but you didn’t answer.”  Ok, so maybe he wasn’t as good at hiding his frustration as he thought.

“Hey, don’t try to make me the asshole here,” Jongin said with a frown. 

“I’m not, I’m sorry, I’m not,” Sehun assured him, forcing himself to remain unruffled.

Jongin took a minute to process what Sehun was telling him.  If Sehun actually took Kyungsoo up on his offer and took his job, that had to mean… something, right?  Sehun hated work of any kind, but especially physical.  For him to voluntarily get a job- Jongin didn’t want to get his hopes up just yet, but maybe this wasn’t going to be the nightmare he had feared.  Maybe Sehun was going to be the best friend he always had been and help him get through it.

Jongin suddenly felt bad.  No, not bad, he felt awful.  How could he have thought such terrible things about Sehun?  Sehun had never left him.  Not even in eighth grade when Jongin got it into his head that he needed to join the football team and spent all his free time with his teammates pretending to be as much of a jock as the rest of them were.  When the season was over and he realized he had nothing else in common with them, and didn’t even really like football that much anyway, Sehun had accepted that it was just a thing he wanted to try, and invited him over to play video games like they had always done on weekends.

If there had ever been a time Sehun could have decided it wasn’t worth it to be friends with him that was it.  Jongin prioritized everything else over him, but in the end Sehun still chose to keep him around when he came crawling back, begging for forgiveness.  Granted, that hadn’t been quite as serious of a situation as an unplanned pregnancy, but in their thirteen-year-old world it had been a pretty big deal.

Sehun was his best friend, and Jongin had written him off like he was any other asshole fuckboy out there (ok, sometimes he was, but never with Jongin).  Jongin felt his eyes start to well up as he stood there without speaking.

“Are you alright?” Sehun asked, concerned.  The hand that was still resting on Jongin’s shoulder squeezed tighter.

Jongin felt stupid crying in the hall at school.  He rolled his eyes, wiping the wetness away hurriedly.  “Yeah, I’m fine.  Just-“

The bell rang.

“Shit, we’re late,” Sehun grumbled, but didn’t make a move to walk away.

“Since when do you care about being late?  You skip class more than anyone I know.”

“Since… very recently.”  Sehun glanced down in the general direction of Jongin's hoodie pocket so fast Jongin almost didn’t see it.  Oh.

_Oh_.  Jongin's breath caught in his throat.  That meant…  That could mean a lot of things.  More things than Jongin could process right then.

“So can we talk?  Like have a real, adult conversation?  Because I have a lot of things to say, and I’m sure you do, too.  And I don’t think either of us have handled this well so far.”

“Yeah, right, of course.”  Jongin was all kinds of flustered.  There were too many thoughts in his head right now, so thinking about when they could sit down to talk about all those thoughts was hard.  “How about after school?  My mom has to work all night, so we can talk all we want.”

“Um, I have to go back to work as soon as I leave here.  I probably won’t get out until, like, ten again,” Sehun said apologetically.  “How about after this class?  I have lunch and you have study hall; let’s just go to the library.  No one is ever in there.”

“Yeah, that works,” Jongin agreed, and Sehun looked relieved.  Jongin took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself down.  “Ok, let’s go,” he said, leading them down the hall.

When Sehun opened the door to let them into their math class, the teacher stopped talking and everyone stared at them as they walked in.  Jongin felt more self-conscious than he ever had walking into a class knowing everyone could see his red, puffy eyes.

“Mr. Kim, Mr. Oh, thank you for joining us,” the teacher greeted them sarcastically.  “Sehun, that’s three tardies for you so far this month.  I’ll see you for detention at the end of the day,” he said as he marked something in the notebook on his desk.  He looked far too pleased to hand out the punishment.

“What?  No.”  Sehun froze in place as he was about to sit, looking panicked.  The teacher seemed surprised at his response, glaring at him and daring him to protest further.  “I have a dentist appointment after school,” Sehun lied smoothly.  Jongin was always impressed at Sehun’s ability to be so believable, but their teacher didn’t look impressed.  He looked like he was trying very hard not to yell.

“Alright, then,” he said, violently crossing out whatever he had just written down and writing something else next to it.  “I’ll see you during your lunch.  If you don’t show up it’ll be a one day suspension.”

Sehun knew there was no way to get out of his detention.  Their math teacher was one of the strictest in the school when it came to keeping up with disciplinary action.  Where other teachers would usually just have him make up the detention another day if he skipped it, this one would for sure follow through with a suspension.  And would probably give him extra homework as well.  Sehun couldn’t afford that on top of his now packed schedule.  He muttered a quiet _OK_ as he sat down and took his textbook out of his bag.  When the teacher went back to explaining the confusing equation on the board he mouthed a silent _I’m sorry_ to Jongin.

Jongin shrugged a shoulder back at him, disappointed but understanding. 

At the end of the class Jongin packed his things away slowly, waiting for the room to clear out somewhat before he said anything to Sehun, but Sehun beat him to it.

“I’m really sorry,” he said quietly, not wanting to draw any attention from the teacher. 

Jongin could tell he was upset at their plan being ruined, and it made any irritation he may have been feeling because of it disappear.  It really wasn’t Sehun’s fault, if Jongin was being honest with himself.  If he hadn’t stood in the hall crying for who knew how long they wouldn’t have been late in the first place.  “Don’t worry about it.”

Sehun was still worried about it.

“Just, text me later?”  Jongin stood up and slung his bag over his shoulders.

“Of course,” Sehun assured him, giving a small wave as Jongin left.

Sehun managed to text him after his detention was over, just as Jongin was sitting down in the cafeteria.  They texted each other sporadically throughout the rest of the afternoon, until they met up again for their last class of the day, making plans for Sehun to come over after he got off work that night; tomorrow was Saturday, so they wouldn’t have to worry about school in the morning, and Sehun didn’t have to work until the afternoon.

 

Waiting for Sehun to get out of work was really annoying Jongin concluded later that evening.  It was only a little after seven, which meant he had at least three more hours to wait.  It wasn’t often he had to wait for Sehun to do something, and he didn’t like it.  His mom had left for work hours ago.  There was nothing on TV.  He had already finished his homework, so he didn’t even have that to distract himself from checking the clock every ten minutes.

Even though things between them seemed to be OK for now, Jongin still didn’t know how their conversation was going to go later, and he needed something to keep him busy so he didn’t freak out while he waited.  Maybe there was something interesting happening on twitter.  Or-

Jongin remembered that he was supposed to talk to Baekhyun that night.  He had no idea if the older boy would even be online then, but he suddenly needed to tell him everything that had happened with Sehun that day.  Launching himself off the couch, he flew into his room and opened his laptop.

Going on the hunch that Baekhyun was probably not sitting at his computer waiting to hear from him, Jongin typed up his whole story in one message.  After he hit send he figured it would at least help him pass some time if he scrolled through some of the messages on the home page.  He had only read through three of them when a new message from Baekhyun popped up.  Like the previous night, he hadn’t been expecting the quick response.

_Bbaek  
Aww, I’m so happy you guys talked!  Honestly, I was really worried when you said he ran out and you hadn’t heard from him.  _

_Kji001  
Wow, are you like stalking me or something?_

_Bbaek  
Um, what??_

_Kji001  
I only sent you that like two minutes ago.  Are you like sitting there waiting for messages from me or something?  I thought you said you weren’t weird_

Jongin giggled and watched for a minute as Baekhyun started and stopped typing about seven times before he started to feel bad and decided to put him out of his misery.

_Kji001  
Dude, I’m fucking with you_

_Bbaek_  
_…Wow_  
 _Woooooooooooow_  
 _I’m here for you 24/7 and offer you cookies and hugs and this is the disrespect I get_  
 _Wooooooooooooooooooooooow_  
 _…_  
 _Also, I never said I wasn’t weird.  I only admitted that what I said sounded weird ;)_

_Kji001  
Hey, if we’re gonna be friends you’re gonna have to get used to the disrespect, sorry, I don’t make the rules_

_Bbaek  
I mean, you totally made up that rule, but whatever…_

_Kji001  
I really do appreciate you listening to all my shit though, so thanks for that_

_Bbaek  
It’s no problem, really __: )_  
_So you said you’re meeting up to talk with him later?_

Ah, yes, the thing Jongin was trying not to think about but decided was an appropriate topic of conversation anyway.

_Kji001_  
_Yeah, after he gets off work.  Which is a weird thing, him having a job._  
 _In the sense that he’s not available to just hang out whenever anymore_  
 _And in the sense that he got a job.  He’s so not the type_  
 _Like, that has to mean something, right?  The fact that he got a job after I told him?  Like, that means he’s not gonna tell me to fuck off and deal with it on my own, right?_

Jongin was rambling.  He knew he sounded insecure.  It wasn’t something he was used to, but he figured it was ok with Baekhyun.  He had already shared more with him than he did with most people, and Baekhyun hadn’t judged him for any of it.

_Bbaek  
I mean, I’ve never met him, but from what you’ve told me I would definitely say he’s trying to be mature and do the right thing._

_Kji001_  
_Ok, cool, good_  
 _That’s good_  
 _Awesome_

It made Jongin feel better to have someone else voice his own thoughts.  But he still felt like he was going to get his hopes up and be let down if he thought about it too much.  He needed to change the subject before that happened.

_Kji001  
Ok, so, enough about me for now.  I’ve taken up too much of our conversations.  Tell me more about you_

Baekhyun was more than willing to talk about himself.  He seemed to like talking about everything in general, but he was really excited to talk about his soon-to-be family.  Jongin learned that he and his husband, Chanyeol, had been trying for a baby for nearly a year, and that they were both over the moon when they found out he was finally pregnant.  Baekhyun had majored in early childhood education, worked in a preschool, and just generally loved everything about kids.  He couldn’t wait to have his own.

Jongin found it incredibly easy to talk to Baekhyun.  So easy, in fact, that before he knew it several hours had passed.  He only realized it when he heard the front door opening.

_Kji001  
Hey, I’m sorry, but I have to go.  I think Sehun just got here._

_Bbaek_  
_Don’t worry about it!  I’ll talk to you later :D_  
 _Hey, before you go_  
 _Is it ok if I give you my phone number?_  
 _That way you can talk to me whenever you want_

_Kji001  
Uh yeah, that would be great actually._

Jongin copied Baekhyun’s number into his phone, shocked when he saw it, and texted him right away.

_To Baekhyun 10:21 pm  
Hey, we have the same area code_

_From Baekhyun 10:21 pm  
Holy shit, we do.  I was only half serious when I said I would drive to you to give you a hug, but that just went from 50% serious to like 94% serious_

_To Baekhyun 10:21 pm  
Aww, thanks_

_From Baekhyun 10:22 pm  
You’re welcome.  Now go talk to your baby daddy._

Right.

Jongin stood up from his chair, rubbing his suddenly clammy hands on his pants and heading for the front door.  Outside his bedroom he faintly smelled coffee, which was weird because he knew the coffee pot in the kitchen had been empty when he got home.  The source of the smell was revealed when he turned the corner and saw Sehun standing just inside the door with two paper cups in his hands, kicking his shoes onto the mat next to Jongin’s.

“Hey,” Sehun said when he looked up and noticed Jongin.  He was smiling, but Jongin could tell he was just as anxious for what was to come.  It somehow made him feel better.

“Hi.”

“I brought you a drink.”  Sehun offered him one of the cups.  “It’s decaf, though.  I, uh, I read that you’re not supposed to have a lot of caffeine when you’re pregnant.”

“Thanks,” Jongin said, accepting the cup offered to him.  The warmth radiating from it did nothing to help his sweaty palms, but it was soothing nonetheless.  He took a sip, not surprised Sehun had remembered his penchant for more cream and sugar than coffee.  “Do you want to sit on the couch?” he asked, feeling oddly formal as he gestured to the living room.  Luckily Sehun either didn’t notice the awkwardness, or he chose not to comment on it, and agreed.

“Yeah, that sounds great.  My feet are killing me.”  Sehun followed Jongin into the living room and flopped onto the couch next to him, careful not to spill his drink.  He leaned his head against the back rest and closed his to enjoy a moment of relaxation.

Jongin was quiet for a while, fiddling with his cup as he watched Sehun; he looked like he was about to fall asleep.  “Are you sure you don’t want to just go home?” he asked, breaking the silence and startling the other boy.  “You look exhausted.  We can do this another time, you know,” he said, even though he knew putting it off would only make it worse.

“No, no, I’m fine.”  The yawn that interrupted Sehun said otherwise, but Jongin didn’t mention it.  “The sooner we work this out the better.  I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.”

“Mad at you?” Jongin asked, confused.  “I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No?  Why would I be?”

“Um, because I totally ran out on you right after you told me you were pregnant?” Sehun said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Jongin rolled his eyes.  “Ok, when you put it like that, maybe I was a little upset that you just _left_.  But mostly I’ve just been fucking terrified.”

“Why?” Sehun asked, then seemed to realize how stupid it sounded.  “No, that was- I mean obviously you would- but I mean, like, why didn’t you tell me?”

Jongin levelled him with the most incredulous stare he could muster.  “Sehun, you just said yourself that you ran out after I told you I was pregnant.  You said you said you would talk to me later and I never heard from you.  I figured you were done with me.  When you texted me all you said was that you wanted to talk.  I thought you wanted to tell me you never wanted to see me again.”

“What?” Sehun yelped.  He turned then, pulling one leg up onto the couch so he could face Jongin fully.  “Why would I- how could you think-“

“No, I know,” Jongin said, cutting Sehun off before he could get too worked up.  “I know now that’s not true.”

“You know now?  Jongin, how could you think I would do that?” 

Jongin winced at the honest hurt in Sehun’s voice.  “I know, I know.  I felt like such a dick when you explained what happened earlier.  I still do.”

“Good, you should.”  Sehun nodded his head self-righteously.  His anger from earlier hadn’t quite dissipated, apparently.

“Hey, remember why I felt that way?” Jongin said in warning, watching Sehun deflate immediately.  “Anyway, yeah, I should have known there was a reason for the silence.  You’re not like that.  And you told me about your dinner thing last week, so it’s not like you just made up some excuse to run away.  I just kind of panicked and went to worst case scenario.  So I’m sorry for that.”  Jongin paused, and Sehun nodded his head, accepting the apology.  But then Jongin couldn’t stop himself from adding, “Unless you _are_ here to tell me you never want to see me again.”  So maybe he was still a little paranoid.

“Unbelievable.  Dude, I already apologized,” Sehun said.  “And I brought you coffee!” he added, waving his own cup around in front of him while pointing at Jongin's.

“That could have just been to soften the blow.  Show up with coffee to put me at ease, then bam!  You’re out the door and I don’t hear from you for years until I run into you by chance at some random grocery store in another city while I’m shopping for a birthday cake and find out you’ve been living there ever since.”

Sehun stared at Jongin in wide-eyed astonishment.  “Dude… what the fuck?”  Jongin just shrugged his shoulder like it was a perfectly plausible scenario and waited for a response.  “Well, at least we know our kid will have a vivid imagination.”

“Our kid?” Jongin asked, surprised at Sehun’s word choice.

Sehun felt suddenly out of place.  He hadn’t considered that it might be someone else’s.  “Oh, well, um, I guess I just assumed since you told me about it that it was mine.”

“I mean, yeah, it is.”

It was then that Sehun remembered the uncomfortable thought he had had earlier in the day, and he felt his stomach clench as he gathered the courage to ask, “Oh, so are you planning on, you know… not keeping it?”  He kept his voice low as he said it, as if saying it any louder would affect Jongin's answer in some way.  “Because, you know, you don’t have to get rid of it.  If you don’t want it- but, I mean, that’s totally your choice!  I can’t tell you to have a baby if you don’t want to, obviously-“

“Sehun, I’m keeping it,” Jongin said, stopping Sehun’s rambling and noticing how Sehun relaxed at his words.  “I just didn’t think you would want to be that involved.”

Sehun sighed and set his cup down on the coffee table, took Jongin's to do the same with it, then held Jongin's hands in between his own.  He looked directly into Jongin's eyes to make sure he was listening to every word he said.  “OK, I’m going to say exactly what’s on my mind right now because I’m tired, and I’m honestly sick of both of us assuming so much without actually talking to each other.  Jongin, I’m going to support you through this a hundred and ten percent.  This is as much my responsibility as it is yours.  I’m here for you and _our_ baby whenever, wherever, and however you need me.  Is that clear?”

For the second time that day Jongin felt tears spontaneously spring to his eyes.

“What did I do?  Why are you crying now?” Sehun wondered aloud, bewildered.

“Because I’m relieved, dumbass!” Jongin choked through his tears.  “I thought I was going to have to do this all on my own, and now I know I don’t have to.  I just… feel so much better, you don’t even understand.”  Jongin took his hands back from Sehun to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

“Ok, but is it really something to cry about?”

“Shut up, you insensitive ass.  I’m _hormonal_.”

“Ok, we’re gonna have to cut way back on the ass names,” Sehun joked, thankful he was able to do so after so much seriousness.  “Also, that sounds so fucking weird coming from you.”

Jongin let out a watery sounding laugh.  “Yeah, try _feeling_ it.  I never thought I’d have to deal with mood swings.  So you’re probably going to have to deal with the ass names.  Sorry.”

“Ok, yeah, fair enough,” Sehun said, glad he didn’t have to deal with more than that for now.  “So are we good now?  Like, all the way?  No more issues?”

“Yeah, I think we’re OK,” Jongin said with a smile, releasing a shuddering sigh and with it all of his stress from the last few days.

“Thank god.  Can we go to bed now?  I’m literally going to pass out in like five minutes, and I’d rather not sleep on the couch.”  Sehun pouted and slouched to the side, burying half his face in the back of the couch.

Jongin giggled again, feeling lighter than he had in days.  He grabbed Sehun’s hand and hauled him up to his feet.  “Yeah, let’s go.”


End file.
